Dear Mom, It’s OK to be Selfish Sometimes

In the months leading up to my son’s birth, I was determined to have every square inch of our house clean and organized. I knew our lives were about to be turned upside down once this tiny human arrived, so I did everything in my power to prepare ourselves and our household for what was to come. I read the books and blogs and asked my new and experienced mom friends for suggestions and advice.

But, the real truth is that you can never truly be prepared to be a new mom. You can’t predict the type of delivery you will have, whether or not you will be able to breastfeed, or know if your baby will sleep through the night. Then, throw in factors like you work full-time and your husband’s unpredictable travel schedule…It can all be a bit overwhelming.

Other women say that being a mom is a selfless job that will forever change you. I now know from experience that this is true, but I still believe it’s okay for moms to be selfish sometimes.

In the beginning, I thought I was going to be Supermom until reality hit me in the face, literally. That was the week I got pink eye (warning new moms: pink eye comes from a bacteria found in baby poop), my dog rolled in something dead and my baby had a blowout during our first trip alone to the grocery store. Did I mention I also accidentally washed my son in dish washing soap instead of his baby shampoo? Yep, that really happened. This was the week I decided enough was enough and asked for help. I was in desperate need of a recharge.

So mom, here’s my message to you:

It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.

It’s okay to hire someone to help you clean the house, especially if you work
full-time and can afford it. Even once a month helps.

It’s okay to get a babysitter so that you can have an hour alone. We all need some alone time.

It’s okay to accept help from family and friends. They wouldn’t offer if they didn’t want to help you.

It’s okay to sleep while the baby is sleeping. You deserve rest too.

It’s okay to drink that glass of wine in the evenings or an extra cup of coffee. You’ve earned a treat for yourself if you want.

Most importantly, it’s okay to take care of you! And you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing just that.

Now that we’ve ended a holiday season that’s all about doing for others, let’s take a moment to focus on ourselves and become happier and more effective parents in the process. This year, let’s make a mom pact to make ourselves a priority and accept help when we really need it. We are all in this together!

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